The Life & Times of a Busy Beader

Bride on a Budget - Part III - Thoughts on Dreams, Money and Planning

2009-09-13T16:08:00.000-07:00

On Dreams

It’s a well-known belief that all girls dream about their big wedding day. We all have that fairy tale image in our heads (thanks to the movies, I’m sure!) of what it should be like, the big princess dress, and your knight in shining armor waiting to whisk you away on his white horse. Ok, that may be a little extreme, but you get the idea I’m sure. While all of this would be ideal (and maybe there ARE women out there with unlimited funds that can pull off every childhood dream-wedding detail, and let me just say if that happens to be you reading this right now, you go girl, more power to ya!) it does all come down to the mighty dollar, which will control exactly how much of that dream you get to turn into reality.

If you ask me, the wedding that you dream about as a young girl changes as you grow older. I think my wedding would have been a lot different had I gotten married in my 20’s. I know back then I would have wanted all of my closest girlfriends to stand up, which would have been a lot more to deal with. I would have done the big dress, the bridesmaids gowns. Probably a trolley or bus to haul us all around in. But things change, priorities change, relationships change as you grow older and wiser.You’re more able to focus on what you truly want and need to make your day special, rather than what you once thought you needed. I believe the wedding that I had at the age of 39 was the perfect wedding for the “me” that I am today.

On Money

Let me take a moment here to speak to the young woman whose parents are paying for the wedding: #1 - You are very lucky if this is your situation! My advice to you – I would still spend it wisely, as if it were my own. Be grateful for the help! Also know that when it’s someone else’s money, they may expect to have a say in what you do (and I guess I can’t blame them, it IS after all, THEIR money) so, there are pros and cons to being in this position. You may not be able to call all the shots.

For women in their 30’s and up, or if you’ve moved out on your own, into your own place, or if you’re living with your fiancé, it would be wrong to expect or assume that your parents will pay for your wedding, unless they have already told you that they will. I tend to think once you’re out from under their roof, all bets are off about the traditional “who pays for what” stuff. So if you haven't been stashing away money for your big day, it may be time to get creative!

On Planning

I probably would have done things differently had money not been an issue. I kept joking that I’d do this or that should a wealthy benefactor walk into my life. That never occurred, so obviously I had to find a way to cut corners. I did whatever I could on my own, (with the assistance of my helpful and creative girlfriends), figured out what I didn’t really need, and for the professional services, I found affordable businesses to work with.

I also planned the majority of my wedding online, sometimes to my mother’s dismay. For me it wasn’t weird to do this – the internet is my go-to place to find everything else, so why not use it to plan my wedding? My mom was nervous that I hired the DJs sight unseen. I also hired the photographer the same way. Both the DJ and the photographer had great websites with prices and useful information (videos, photo galleries, etc) that I felt pretty sure I was making the right choice. I suppose this could have gone badly for me, so maybe I just got lucky, I don’t know! I bought my dress and veil online. I found tutorials on how to make silk floral bouquets, etc. on Youtube.com. I found websites that had wedding verses and readings. I could not have planned this wedding without the use of the world wide web! I do not like it when businesses won’t post their prices on their websites. If they don’t want to show a price, it gives the impression, at least to me anyway, that it’s going to be expensive. But it doesn’t hurt to ask. And actually my DJ may not have listed a package price – but their motto was “Twice the show, not twice the dough” so I figured they were going to be reasonable – and they were.

You may need to think long and hard about the wedding you want to have, what it means to you, what you can live with and what you can live without. As I made decisions I tried to keep in mind how I would feel afterward, looking back on the day. Would I regret that I didn't have a limo? Would I regret or say I wish I had bought that one wedding dress instead? If you ask yourself the "will I regret this?" question as you make your decisions, and can answer no to them then you're on the right path to planning a wedding that will be suitable to your budget and your style, and you'll be happy with your choices.

I went for informal, but intimate, and included all the standards - dinner, dancing, etc. that you expect for a wedding. I just went about it in a somewhat non-traditional way, and was so pleased with the outcome. I found out afterward that one of my husband's aunts, (who is quite crafty and picky) commented on the nice job I did putting everything together, and that it was elegant, etc. and she was quite impressed. I thought that was the ultimate compliment!

Next time we'll talk about cutting corners and how to find ways to save money doing things yourself.

Bride on a Budget - Part II - Let them eat (Cup)Cake!

2009-06-13T22:27:00.000-07:00

No doubt you already know that weddings are expensive. I wanted to keep mine to a budget of around $5000 (which I successfully managed to do!). In this day and age that is challenge. Everywhere you turn there’s another expense to take into consideration, and everything wedding related always has an inflated price tag. So, if you have a tight budget to work with and need to cut back wherever you can, figuring out where you can cut corners is going to be very important to you!

One thing I decided I could cut the cost on was my cake. If you do a search on Flickr for “wedding cupcakes” you will find a ton of pictures out there of some very cool ways to switch up the wedding norm and do something different that will have people talking. Now, you could go to a bakery and have them do them, which might cost you as much as a cake, I’m not sure since I didn’t check into that. You could make them yourself if you’re a good baker, and you have the ambition and time (or helpers) to make as many as you need. OR….if you have a Sam’s, Costco or other warehouse store nearby, you might be able to get a very good deal on cupcakes, like I did. At my local Sam’s Club they charge about $12 for a box of 30 cupcakes. So it cost me $63 for 150 cupcakes! I recommend doing a trial run before your big day - order a box of them so you can see what they'll look like, and if you're going to try the doily wrapper you'll need a few for the pattern. Also, TAKE PICTURES of the cupcakes, that way when you place your official order for the wedding you can give them the picture so they make them exactly the same way. PS: You don't have to eat them all - your co-workers will appreciate the treat I'm sure! Mine did! :)

Now I still wanted to have a “cake table” and something displayed. So I got creative and made a tiered mirrored stand, which is in the picture on the right. I have instructions on how to make one of them on my webpage if you're interested. That link is below. I found a Wilton cake pan that makes giant cupcakes, and my friend and I figured out how to get it to turn out to a close resemblance of my cupcakes, and that became my top cake. To dress up the cupcakes (since they came in plain paper wrappers) we created our own wrappers out of gold and white doilies. This worked out really well. It was a little tricky getting them on the night before the wedding, but the look was just what I was going for.

Bride on a Budget - Part I - The Dress and Veil

2009-05-31T19:03:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, new Bride! You're getting married! Prepare yourself - your whole world is about to be consumed with thoughts and details about your wedding from now until the day it arrives! It can be fun, but it can also be frustrating, especially if you are working with a small budget. But fear not, I had a small budget myself and I can tell you that it's possible to pull off a great wedding and reception with a small budget.

My advice - make sure you have something to organize your details. I went looking for planners online because I didn't want something handwritten that I would have to erase or re-write. I found software, but it still didn't meet my exact needs. So I made my own in an Excel workbook - based off of a planner I did come across online. If you're interested in using it, here is a link for it. I'd love to know what you think of it if you use it, so please let me know! It has a tab for your guest list, a timeline, a budget, and tabs for every other detail about your big day. Here is a link to a few screenshots, otherwise, here is the download link.

I'm a practical girl, and it's very hard for me to imagine spending $15,000-20,000 on one day. Granted this is my wedding day, something I plan on doing only once in my lifetime, but I just cannot justify spending that kind of money! I'd rather spend that on a house down payment, etc.

When it comes to planning a wedding, you'll notice that as soon as you add the word "wedding" to anything the price goes up. A friend at work was getting married and checked into a limo. He asked how much per hour, etc. and when the limo company asked if it was for any special occasion, my friend said, does that matter? The answer was "yeah, it does." Isn't an hour an hour? Of course you can't just rent a limo by the hour for a wedding - you need to buy a PACKAGE. So keep this in mind!

One of the first things I'm sure you're planning to do is go shopping for a dress. I probably don't need to warn you to brace yourself for the sticker shock. Wedding dresses can be outrageously expensive. I had heard about the $99 rack at David's Bridal, but when I checked it there weren't many to choose from, or they were really just not at all what you'd be looking for. So if you're lucky maybe you will be able to find one of those on sale, but don't count on it. I soon realized that I'd have to check the regular racks if I wanted something nice.

(Another bridal shop idea - if you're looking for something less formal, you may want to check the bridesmaids dresses out too, and see if they can make the dress in white, ivory, etc. It might save you some money going that route vs. a true wedding gown.)

Then there's the size issue. I've been working out for over a year and I know I have slimmed down. It was very hard for me getting over the fact that I wear a 12-14, but needed a 16-18 in order to get a dress that would even zip up! Way to make a girl feel good about herself! And being a bride with a budget, looking at paying $600+ for a dress, and figuring on another $200 or so for alterations....geesh, it was putting that dress right out of my ballpark. I know this is my wedding and all, but I can't justify forking out $1000 on a dress I will wear once in my lifetime.

In addition to the local bridal stores, I also tried looking at my local department stores, but wasn't able to find anything remotely resembling a wedding gown there.

So on to plan B. Online. There are some places you can get designer/bridal store dresses at a discount. I looked at the following sites before I found my dress, which we'll get to in a little bit. The first link below carries a lot of the dresses that bridal shops carry. They also custom-make the dress to your measurements, so you don't have to buy a dress and then have it altered. I was still a little nervous if I could trust that it would fit me. You can try the sites below, or do some internet searches for bridal gowns or wedding gowns.

www.cheap-wedding-gowns.com
www.nexteve.com
www.dress-queen.com

Next, you could get creative. Like I said before, add the words "wedding" or "bridal" to anything and the price goes up. So DON'T add these words! Instead, search using keywords like:

white gown
ivory gown
white evening gowns
ivory formal wear

You may be surprised at what you will find. Ultimately I found my dress online at Nordstroms. They have a wedding shop, although the dress I got was not from that collection. But check out their dresses - the prices are very reasonable! Plus, if it doesn't fit you can return it. You can't do that at the bridal shops - if you order it, it's yours - if you change your mind, you're stuck.

When it comes to the veil, these are also rather pricey at the bridal stores. (And I won't even get into the tiaras - one I tried on was more expensive than my dress!) This is something you could probably make yourself if you're ambitious. I wasn't THAT ambitious although it probably would have been easy, had my dress been white. I needed a latte colored veil to match my dress and I managed to find the perfect veil at www.veilshop.com. If you need to see colors first you can send for a sample which costs $5, but they give you a credit when you place your order. I was very pleased with how my veil turned out, and they also had good customer service. I recommend them. You can also try www.whitedovebridal.com. If you're not looking for anything fancy, I know they even carry at least one type of veil at my local Michaels craft supply store. Be sure to use a coupon!

I created my own comb to embellish my veil. I'm going to be working on a product line of veil embellishements soon - stay tuned....

I hope this helps you in your search for the perfect dress!

My First Blog

2009-05-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I decided to start a blog today....and this is my first post.

Like the title says, I'm a busy beader. I'm also now a busy wife (today is our two week wedding anniversary!). I work full-time, go to the YMCA for classes 3-4 times per week, sell Avon, and create and sell handmade jewelry. Sometimes I wish there were more hours in the day.

Up until a few weeks ago my head was just swimming with wedding details - it was no doubt my top priority. Now that it's over it feels like I have nothing to think about! Such a relief, actually, that everything I planned all came together beautifully and we had a perfect day.

I was definitely a bride on a budget. I wanted to keep it around $5000, which I did. I also was a non-traditional bride. I did all of the typical wedding things - but not in typical fashion - which I think made people curious to attend the wedding to see what I was going to come up with.

I want to share my ideas and advice on how I went about this with any other bride-to-be out there looking for ways to cut corners. I wanted to do it on the cheap - but not look cheap!

The picture is a preview of how we did the tables for the reception. Future blogs will be about flowers, dresses, favors, cake, etc.

And I can't neglect to mention that part of the reason I'm creating this blog is to promote my jewelry business! I made all of my bridal jewelry for myself and for my matron of honor - necklaces, earrings, a bracelet, veil embellishments. Getting married myself gave me the opportunity to try new things and come up with additional product lines that I hadn't thought of before. Now that I have time again, I really want to focus on creating more bridal or formal wear jewelry.

You can see my current jewelry items here, at my online store: http://webead4you.ecrater.com/